If My Church is a Community,
Why Do I Feel So Isolated?
Series: The Reality and Responsibility of Unity
by Doug Goins
Psalm 133 begins, "How good and pleasant it is when brothers
dwell in unity!" Our focus this morning will be on our identity in
the body of Christ, a spiritual community. I have been a part of that community
for 41 years, ever since my mother and father came to personal faith in
Jesus Christ when I was five years old. At times I've been a rebellious
member; there have been seasons out of fellowship with the Lord and with
his people. My relationship with that community of faith has not always
been comfortable. I have always had to resist shyness; I am basically an
introvert temperamentally. I've never quite felt like I fit in or belonged
to any church. I've always had a vague suspicion that I probably didn't
need the community anyway. And because of my own sinful tendencies toward
perfectionism, I have struggled with intolerance of the imperfections of
those around me in the church.
There was a nine-month period 16 years ago when I sat in church every Sunday
morning but never pursued any relationships or ministry opportunities in
that particular church body. I rationalized that I was at least one in spirit
with those believers. We were enjoying the communion of the Lord even if
I didn't know them as individuals because it's the spiritual relationship
that's the important one anyway, right? I could get to know them in heaven;
we'd have all eternity for that. For that entire school year I also sat
in seminary chapel services twice a week with 800 brothers and sisters in
Christ, but I allowed only a tiny handful of those people into my life,
just the ones who seemed to be able to understand and identify with my unique
problems as a single parent going through a difficult divorce with a five-year
old son.
I have struggled over the years as well with impatience toward Christian
community. The church has seemed to respond so slowly to my purity of vision
for what community ought to be like! I have a history of forcing the issue.
Twenty years ago at the height of the Jesus Movement, some other young people
and I tried to force more contemporary, informal worship with all the wonderful
new music on a terrific congregation of people in Santa Cruz. We tried to
jam body life down their throats "for their own good," even though
we were making them very uncomfortable. We were terribly insensitive as
we tried to force this wonderful thing God was doing on these dear people.
I have asked myself many times in my adult life the question that is the
title of our message this morning: "If my church is a community, why
do I feel so isolated?" We need to hear from the Scriptures for the
answer to this question. Psalm 133 will remind us who we are, what we're
about, and what God wants to do among us.
Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil upon the head,
running down upon the beard,
upon the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the LORD has commanded the blessing,
life for evermore.
This is one of 15 Songs of Ascent (Psalms 120 through 134) tucked away in
the Hebrew Psalter. It is a mini-psalter that was collected for the Jewish
pilgrims to sing together as they traveled up from their cities all over
the nation of Israel to worship in Jerusalem (geographically, the highest
city in Israel) three times a year, for high, holy feast days. They went
up for Passover in the spring, as they remembered and celebrated God's salvation
history; the Feast of Pentecost in early summer, as they renewed their commitment
as God's covenant people; and at Rosh Hashana or the Feast of Tabernacles
in the autumn, as they responded with gratitude for God's blessings to them.
These psalms are short, and there is one central theme in each one of them.
They were easy to memorize in Hebrew. They survey the fundamentals of faith-life
lived in relationship to Yahweh.
This psalm is a song of King David, the "sweet singer of Israel."
We don't know when David wrote this or what he was responding to. There
is, however, a wonderful story in 2 Samuel 5:1-10 about how the Lord finally
united all the 12 tribes under David's leadership after he led the southern
tribes for 7 1/2 years as king in Hebron. The northern tribes finally came
to David and said to him, "We are your own flesh and blood. We want
to follow the Lord under your leading." With that united commitment,
David then went with his army, and God gave him Jerusalem. He claimed it
as the capital seat of leadership of the nation of Israel. Because of that
he brought the ark of the covenant up into Jerusalem, and finally all the
tribes could worship together. It must have been an overwhelming experience
for David to stand with all the tribes gathered together, worshipping God
in unity.
There is irony in this statement, however, because as David stood with all
the Israelite worshippers, they would have had vivid memories of the nation's
long, difficult struggle to maintain community. Tribal jealousy was a reality.
Pettiness, mistrust, competition, and hurt feelings were constants throughout
Israel's history. They were all the sons of Abraham, but great differences
among the tribes developed over the years. There were larger and smaller
tribes, urban and rural tribes. Some of the tribes became militarily dominant
and powerful, while others remained weak and subservient. There were cosmopolitan
sea-coast tribes that had trade routes running through their territory.
Some of the tribes were more backward because they were isolated in mountainous
regions. Some tribes were blessed materially with great riches; others struggled
economically. Some tribes even disdained how others spoke the Hebrew language,
making fun of their accents. During the period of the judges there's a frightening
story of how 11 of the tribes tried to annihilate the entire tribe of Benjamin.
It was only the grace of God that preserved that little tribe. So you can
imagine the powerful experience it was to all stand together in the tabernacle
or the temple in worship and sing this song of unity, which had been hard
to win and which was hard to maintain!
The opening word of the psalm is a strong imperative: "Behold!"
It means, take a good look; examine this carefully. We're tempted to approach
something like this psalm casually, to take it for granted. We assume we
know what community is all about, or else we evaluate Christian community
by our own biases, our preconceptions of what it ought to be. Just as Paul
prayed for the Ephesian Christians that the eyes of their hearts would be
enlightened (Ephesians 1:18), that they would have spiritual understanding
of what God was doing, this psalm can give us spiritual understanding that
is not controlled by the perceived needs we might bring here on any given
Sunday. It can protect us from our own subjective idealization of Christian
community. So let's look carefully at this psalm, asking the Lord to teach
us, not demanding that he give us what we want or think we need.
I want to focus on two things: the four ways David defines spiritual community,
and the three effects or results of learning how to live together in unity.
First let's look at how David defines community. The first three definitions
are in verse 1. First he says, "How good and pleasant it is when brothers
dwell in unity." That's God's definition of community. The king is
saying that God has declared family life to be good. That's an objective
reality, a theological statement about community: morally and ethically
it's the way to live. He also says it's pleasant. That's the subjective,
existential quality of community. It is pleasing, attractive, enjoyable.
It feels good. If I dread it, if I am uncomfortable throughout the process
or experience, it isn't pleasant. The Scriptures know nothing of solitary
Christianity. When we are born again, we are born into the fellowship of
community. This declaration of goodness that is pleasing comes from the
very nature of God himself. He is not reclusive, a hermit, or an old bachelor.
He is triune---Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There is community in the Godhead!
And the Church of Jesus Christ is to reflect that same fellowship.
So the question is, if that is true, why do I feel isolated? Why do I resist
this call to community? Because as a sinful human being I tend toward isolation
by nature. I desperately want to be part of the community, but I consistently
find ways to separate myself. I end up being a walking contradiction. Philip
Slater, a sociologist, wrote a searching study of the American way of life
called Pursuit of Loneliness, examining how we live together. He says that
we all desire and have a need for community. He calls it "the wish
to live in trust and fraternal cooperation with one's fellows in a total
and visible collective entity." He goes on to give some frightening
insights into why we experience isolation instead:
It is easy to produce examples of the many ways in which Americans attempt
to minimize, circumvent, or deny the interdependence upon which all human
societies are based. We seek a private house, a private means of transportation,
a private garden, a private laundry, self-service stores, and do-it-yourself
skills of every kind. An enormous technology seems to have set itself the
task of making it unnecessary for one human being ever to ask anything of
another in the course of going about his daily business...we seek more and
more privacy, and feel more and more alienated and lonely when we get it...our
encounters with others tend increasingly to be competitive as a result of
the search for privacy. We less and less often meet our fellow man to share
and exchange, and more and more often encounter him as an impediment or
a nuisance: making the highway crowded when we are rushing somewhere, cluttering
and littering the beach or park or wood, pushing in front of us at the supermarket,
taking the last parking place, polluting our air and water, building a highway
through our house, blocking our view, and so on. Because we have cut off
so much communication with each other we keep bumping into each other, and
thus a higher and higher percentage of our interpersonal contacts are abrasive.
He is not writing as a Christian, but as a thoughtful observer of the American
condition. He is describing sinful independence, prideful self-sufficiency,
individualism. Christian community is good and pleasant, but I'm tempted
to choose isolation because of these things.
David secondly defines community as the experience of brothers. The Scriptures
tell us that when we are born again we become part of a family of brothers
and sisters in Christ. No Christian is an only child. Family life speaks
of home, of safety and security, of acceptance and equality. In the life
of Israel itself all citizens of the nation were considered brothers and
sisters. As a matter of fact, in Deuteronomy 15:3, 15:12, and 25:3, three
classes of citizens we wouldn't normally consider to be our equals or in
familiar relationship with us are defined as brothers: those who are hopelessly
in debt, those who have sold themselves into slavery, and those who are
convicted criminals. Israel was commanded to be a spiritual family.
In the same way we are called into a family today in the church. It's supposed
to be a place of full acceptance, of loving equality, of family security---even
if we happen to be hopelessly out of control in our finances, head over
heels in debt because of our own bad decisions or self-centeredness, slaves
or in bondage to some sort of addiction or compulsion, or felons.
But why do I resist this call to family life? Living as a family may be
necessary and desirable, but it is enormously difficult. It is hard to live
like brothers and sisters because brothers and sisters fight. The first
Biblical story about brothers living together is the story of Cain and Abel.
It is a story of murder committed because one of the brothers resented God's
acceptance of the other brother's gift. The story of Joseph and his brothers
follows a few pages later in Genesis. His brothers envied his place in the
family and sold him into slavery. David the king acknowledged estrangement
from his own brothers early in his life. In Psalm 69:8 he said,"I have
become a stranger to my brethren, an alien to my mother's sons." Even
the Lord Jesus was misunderstood by his brothers. The only record we have
in the gospel of interaction between Jesus and his brothers is when they
tried to drag him away from his messianic work because they were convinced
he was out of his mind! That was his relationship to his brothers.
Modern psychology calls this sibling rivalry. There are many books on it,
but all those books are only a footnote to what the Bible says. We all know
that children fight a lot. That's the way families are. Each brother is
quick to take offense; each child wants his own way. All children compete
for the major share of Mom's and Dad's attention. As much as children may
consider their brothers and sisters allies, they just as often see them
as competitors.
There are also profound differences in children's temperaments and personalities,
even in the same family. This came home to me powerfully a few weeks ago.
Candy and I had gone away to the Napa Valley for Valentine's Day weekend,
and a young couple took care of our three children while we were gone. (By
the way, I asked my children if I could tell this story.) When we got home
we sat down in the family room with them, and one right after the other,
our children each asked us for something. Kathryn (11), the thoughtful,
reflective one, said, "Dad, I want to write a novel. Have any 11-year-olds
ever had a novel published? Do you think I could write a novel? I've been
thinking about this all weekend." As soon as she was done sharing her
dream, our son Micah (9) said, "Dad, there's something I really want.
I want to take $40 out of my savings account [which has only $120 in it].
I want to buy a World Wrestling Federation ring and six figures" (Hulk
Hogan, Hacksaw Jim Dugan, and these other characters, you know). That's
what Micah had been thinking about all weekend. Our daughter Alayna (7),
as soon as Micah got done asking about buying the wrestlers, said, "Dad,
can I get a tattoo?"
That's kind of like our church. We have differences temperamentally. We've
got artistic, creative, thoughtful, reflective people. We've got sports
fanatics who live for the competitive moment, and we could even have a few
tattooed ladies around that we don't know about! These things sound funny,
but we have to live with people who are very different from us, don't we?
Further, the spiritual reality is that just because we are of the family
of faith does not mean that we are "just one big happy family."
Our brothers and sisters in Christ are not always nice people. They don't
stop sinning the moment they begin believing in Christ. They don't suddenly
become the exciting conversationalists, sensitive listeners, caring companions,
and glowing inspirations that we think we need. The truth is that in relation
to one another we are often cranky, dull, insensitive, and thin-skinned.
In a word, we can be a real drag with one another. But we are brothers and
sisters in the process of growing up together into a spiritual family! Christian
community includes brothers and sisters, but I'm tempted to reject them
because of their imperfections.
Thirdly, David says that Christian community is dwelling together in unity---literally
"living together." This emphasizes physical togetherness and permanence,
collective identity in a place with an unbreakable common life. You don't
just check in for a month or two and then decide to wander off. Once you're
part of the family you belong to those people. Back in the days of the Jesus
Movement we used to talk about the fact that we were part of a "forever
family." The Scriptures give consistent witness to the fundamental
need for physical and material relationships. In Genesis, creation was not
complete until God gave Eve to Adam. Humanity wasn't whole without that
community. God never works with individuals in isolation-in intimacy, yes,
but not in isolation from the community as a whole. Jesus chose 12 disciples
and lived with them in community for three years. In Acts 2:1 it says that
when the Church was formed by the Spirit of God, there were 120 people "all
together" in one place. In Hebrews 10 when some early Christians were
dropping out of the community and pursuing their own private interests,
the writer of this letter urged that they nurture their precious gift of
community, "not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some,
but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing
near" (Hebrews 10:25.)
So why do I feel isolated instead of experiencing physical togetherness
and permanence? Here are a couple of reasons out of many I could suggest:
(1) I "spiritualize" my identity with you. I imagine our oneness
in Christ, but only occasionally rub shoulders with you. I may not want
my name listed in the directory because you might invade my privacy. I somehow
define myself as a perennial visitor, always evaluating, doing reconnaissance,
investigating this place, but not physically and materially committing myself
to you as flesh-and-blood people with my time, my presence, my involvement,
my money. We say it's our spiritual communion that really matters the most,
not the physical involvement.
Or (2) I feel isolated because I am selective in my relationships. I may
choose to identify with only that part of you all, that one tribe if you
will, with which I feel the most comfortable. I try to experience spiritual
community on the basis of my own needs. Historically, there's a precedent
for that. The tribes of Israel had the same struggle. I will "dwell
together in unity" with those of the same socioeconomic standing, of
the same political sensitivities and persuasion, in the same season of life,
or with the same problem orientation I have, who can understand me and the
struggles I'm going through. Now, all of those relationships exist quite
legitimately right here at PBC, so don't get me wrong. I'm not criticizing
those kinds of groups in the least. But they don't ultimately define spiritual
community. Those kind of relationships view community exclusively because
of common interests or experience, rather than inclusively because of who
we are in Jesus Christ.
During the rise of the Third Reich in Germany, a young Lutheran pastor named
Dietrich Bonhoeffer spent three years heading an illegal, underground seminary
with 25 young men preparing to be pastors. Out of that three-year experiment
came what I consider the best book ever written on Christian community,
Life Together. The heart of the discovery he made was that community wasn't
based on their all being pastors. It was based on Jesus. Listen to what
he says:
Not what a man is in himself as a Christian, his spirituality and piety,
constitutes the basis of our community. What determines our brotherhood
is what that man is by reason of Christ. Our community with one another
consists solely in what Christ has done to both of us.
That's at the heart of the prayer of Jesus to the Father in John 17. Community
is based on our relationship to Jesus, and it's a gift of his heavenly Father.
Christian community emphasizes permanent physical relationships, but I'm
tempted to either spiritualize it or be selfishly selective and exclusive.
Fourthly, verses 2 and 3 of Psalm 133 tell us that community is a gift of
God. "It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down upon
the beard, upon the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For
there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life for evermore." There
is beautiful symbolism in these two verses. Three times the word descending
(translated literally) is used: descending on his beard, descending on the
collar, and descending on the mountains of Zion. So we have oil poured out
from above on the high priest, flowing down from head to foot. And we have
dew falling from the heavens onto the high mountains, with enough volume
of water to refresh even the lower hills of Zion. Only God can provide an
amount of oil and water sufficient to cover so thoroughly. Human beings
cannot manufacture or sustain that. Both the oil and the water are gifts
imparted from above. (In a moment we'll look at what these symbols represent,
but first let's think a bit more about Christian community as a gift.)
In the second half of verse 3, where it says this blessing is commanded,
there is a strong emphasis on God's initiative in this whole process. When
it says the "blessing of unity is commanded," it means that God
has determined it to be. Literally, he has conferred it; he's given it already.
And the result is only his to give: "Life for evermore" is eternal
life, salvation. God is the giver of that beautiful gift.
But if community is a gift, why do I feel so isolated? Because I impatiently
try to contrive it. I try to create and manage community. I think, if only
I can find the right group to meet my needs. Or I find a group, but they
seem to be sadly lacking in what I define as community, so I think I will
help them with quality control. I'll help them make it better. I end up
echoing Jesse Collin Young. Back in the 1960's, he had a band called the
Youngbloods. With great zeal and enthusiasm they sang, "Come on people
now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another
right now." That's often my approach to community in the church. "Come
on, folks, you need to try harder." When I try to make it happen, I
end up being continually frustrated, resentful, and unfulfilled with you
all and with myself. A gift can only be received. I cannot create my own
gift. When I do accept imperfect human community as a gift from God, I end
up being grateful, appreciative, fulfilled, and relaxed! Spiritual community
is not contrived, but given by God. It's a blessing, not an achievement.
In John 17:20-26, five different times Jesus acknowledges His heavenly Father
as the author of community and prays on our behalf for the Lord to generously
give us unity.
Elsewhere in Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer emphasizes
this reality that we can't create community:
It is easily forgotten that the fellowship of Christian brethren is a gift
of grace, a gift of the Kingdom of God that any day may be taken from us,
that the time that still separates us from utter loneliness may be brief
indeed. Therefore, let him who until now has had the privilege of living
a common Christian life with other Christians praise God's grace from the
bottom of his heart. Let him thank God on his knees and declare: It is grace,
nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in community with Christian
brethren.
The issue is my attitude, my perception of you all. Christian community
is a gift of God's grace, but too often I impatiently try to create it on
my own terms. The question this morning is, do I view the people in this
room as being too imperfect a community to be a part of? Do I view you as
a problem to be solved, as a corporate project to be worked on, as a big
mess to be cleaned up? Or do I see you first of all as a gift from God to
enjoy and appreciate, a blessing for which to give thanks, an expression
of God's grace to me? When I am receptive to ideas like that and grateful
and at peace among you, exciting things happen!
Now, David promises three results that will come if we live in community
this way. It will be (1) like oil and (2) like dew in the morning, and it
will bring (3) eternal life for all kinds of people. It says, first, (verse
2) that Christian community has the same qualities or effect as the anointing
oil used to sanctify Aaron the high priest for his temple service. This
picture comes out of Exodus 28-30. There instructions are given for the
ordination of the priest as he is appointed for service in the temple. The
oil that anoints him is called precious. That word means it has great value;
it's costly. There's a recipe given in chapter 30 for the oil to anoint
just one priest. It calls for 12 pounds of liquid myrrh, six pounds of ground
cinnamon, 12 pounds of cassia, one gallon of olive oil, and six pounds of
fragrant cane sugar, all blended together. It's wonderfully aromatic, a
beautiful influence. Throughout the Scriptures oil is a sign of God's presence,
a symbol of the Spirit of God at work. Oil has wonderful medicinal properties;
it sooths irritation and injury. It also eliminates friction by acting as
a lubricant that soothes abrasion. Remember how Philip Slater talked about
the abrasiveness of relationships? The Spirit of God can soothe that and
heal that. It gives a wonderful quality of warmth and ease to Christian
community which contrasts to the icy coldness of the world, to the hard
edges of people jostling each other in crowds.
That oil was poured out liberally; we saw how much of it was used on one
man. That's why it flowed down his head, over his beard, and onto his high
priestly garment, all the way down to the tips of his toes. As the oil flowed
down over his chestpiece, inscribed there were the names of the 12 tribes
of Israel. It was a powerful symbol of the oil of the Spirit unifying all
12 of those tribes who were so different, drawing them together. God's blessing
is not limited to a select few in the community, but it's spread out to
all to be shared equally. It's going to unify to a greater and greater measure
as we allow the Spirit to work among us.
This is anointing oil. As it was poured out on this man, it set him apart
for the special ministry of priesthood. Living in community means seeing
the oil flow over the entire body of our brother or sister. We begin to
see each other differently-as priests, as God's anointed, able to minister
to one another. That profoundly changes relationships. Every one of us in
this room, if we're part of the family of God through faith in Jesus, have
been anointed by the Spirit of God, and we share a wonderful common life
of ministry together. It's what the Reformation called the church back to,
"the priesthood of all believers."
Secondly, Christian community has the same qualities and effect as the heavy
morning dew on the slopes of Mount Hermon in the Lebanese coastal range.
Mount Hermon is the highest mountain in that part of the world, 9000 feet
at the summit. I've backpacked enough in the High Sierras for 20 years now
to know what it's like to awaken on a crystal-clear, glorious morning to
find my sleeping bag and all my belongings drenched with heavy morning dew.
Dew is a symbol for something that is refreshing, renewing, invigorating.
That dew is even extended down to the arid slopes of Mount Zion in Judah,
only 2500 feet high. A Puritan writer said of this picture, "both high-born
and low-born [in the body] drink of the same sweet refreshment without distinction."
Towering mountain peaks and low hills are all blessed equally by the dew
of the Lord.
We can enjoy in Christian community a continually renewed sense of optimism
and anticipation of what God is doing with all our brothers and sisters
in the faith. That way we don't end up labeling one another and stereotyping
one another. We're guilty of that. I tend to label you once I get to know
you: "You're going to be stuck in some kind of a rut; there's a deficiency
in your walk with the Lord. You'll never grow up." "She's real
fast-track; she's going to grow quickly in the Lord." No, this understanding
of the freshness of the dew saves us from that awful way of looking at one
another. We claim God's promise that "...his mercies...are new every
morning" (Lamentations 3:23) in the lives of those around us. We see
each other as unique, as especially loved by God, as particularly led by
his Spirit. I refuse to predict your behavior or your growth. When I view
people this way it is impossible to be bored with community. It is impossible
to feel alienated among such people. This understanding counters isolation
and self-centeredness.
The third effect of community is that it is where God has chosen to give
the blessing of salvation, of "life for evermore." In Jesus' high
priestly prayer in John 17, he said, "This is eternal life, that they
know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent."
Another wonderful result of authentic Christian community will be evangelism.
The primary concern of Jesus' prayer for unity in his church was that the
world would believe that God had sent him to be the Savior. He mentioned
it three different times. There is no fear in the Scriptures that spiritual
community will become ingrown and selfish. If that happens, then the church
is not functioning as the body for whom Christ died. Christian community
is attractive. People will be drawn into relationship with the Lord Jesus
because of our relationships and because we tell the truth, because of plain
speaking when the world is full of lies. That was the call of the 12 tribes
of Israel: to be "a light to the nations" (Isaiah 42:6). And now
it is ours, and the quality of our fellowship will be a powerful attraction.
This morning in the early service we heard of a junior high girl who had
been drawn into the fellowship in our church, one of four to receive the
Lord at the junior high snow camp at Hume Lake last weekend. Maxine Bradford
shared in the prayer meeting last Sunday night about a girl named Mandy
who had only recently come into the fellowship of Pioneer Girls. In one
of her first weeks here she ended up singing in the morning worship service
in both services before she even knew the Lord Jesus. The very next Wednesday
night after they sang in church for us, she opened her heart to Jesus because
of the acceptance and the love she experienced here. That goes on here all
the time, and I praise God for that.
Do you want to live like this? Do you want to get over your critical spirit,
your pickiness, your dissatisfaction? Learn to see this place as a gift
from God. Learn to see the people around you as gifts to you personally.
We need to hear this psalm over and over again. "How good and pleasant
it is when brothers dwell together in unity."
Catalog No. 4247
Psalm 133
First Message
Doug Goins
March 10, 1991
Copyright (C) 1995 Discovery Publishing, a ministry of Peninsula Bible Church.
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